Choices

I recently made the choice to up-end my life.  I resigned from my day job working in IT at an international law firm, and left a career I had been building for 16 years.  It was sudden, but something I had fantasized about for quite some time.  I'm pleased to announce that I'm forging ahead as a freelance hand knitwear designer.  Scared?  Yes.  Happy?  Hell, yeah.  But like most change, it wasn't easy.  And like most good decisions, it was a frightening one to make.

The reality is that I lost my appetite.  I went to work every day (mostly) and sat there waiting for the hours to pass.  The passion was gone.  (Although, I don't know if it was ever there.)  I didn't strive to do better.  I didn't want to learn more.  I didn't want any attention in case that meant more work.  And, it wasn't any way to live.

So when I had the nerve to give it all up, I did.

I'm coming to the end of my first week of liberation.  And my mind is slowly coming around to the idea that I'm not on a vacation, but that this is my new life.  I still have a lot of things to work out, like a schedule and a budget.  (What's that?!)  But, it feels good to be an active participant in my own life.  I had let things happen to me for far too long.

Whenever the feeling of panic starts to well up, I just turn around and feast my eyes on my new life.

I'd like to make a toast: here's to living life, making the hard choice but the right decision.  Cheers!