Choices
I recently made the choice to up-end my life. I resigned from my day job working in IT at an international law firm, and left a career I had been building for 16 years. It was sudden, but something I had fantasized about for quite some time. I'm pleased to announce that I'm forging ahead as a freelance hand knitwear designer. Scared? Yes. Happy? Hell, yeah. But like most change, it wasn't easy. And like most good decisions, it was a frightening one to make.
The reality is that I lost my appetite. I went to work every day (mostly) and sat there waiting for the hours to pass. The passion was gone. (Although, I don't know if it was ever there.) I didn't strive to do better. I didn't want to learn more. I didn't want any attention in case that meant more work. And, it wasn't any way to live.
So when I had the nerve to give it all up, I did.
I'm coming to the end of my first week of liberation. And my mind is slowly coming around to the idea that I'm not on a vacation, but that this is my new life. I still have a lot of things to work out, like a schedule and a budget. (What's that?!) But, it feels good to be an active participant in my own life. I had let things happen to me for far too long.
Whenever the feeling of panic starts to well up, I just turn around and feast my eyes on my new life.
I'd like to make a toast: here's to living life, making the hard choice but the right decision. Cheers!